The math ain't mathin' 🧐

“A man who pays his bills on time is soon forgotten.”

– Oscar Wilde

👋 Friends, Rallie here. The newsletter you can trust when the banking system combusts.

On the menu:

• 🇨🇭 Credit Suisse scrambles

• ⛔ Crypto does not pass go

• 🗞️ Headlines that hit

• 💯 Top tweets

The Rallie Recap

🧐 The math ain't mathin'... Credit Suisse, a bank that lost $7.8B USD last year, is being rescued by the Swiss National Bank, a bank that lost $143B USD last year.

• On Wednesday, Credit Suisse rattled markets by announcing it had found "material weaknesses" in its financial reporting processes for 2021 and 2022.

• The bank's stock plunged to an all-time low after news landed that its main investor, Saudi National Bank, couldn't lend Credit Suisse any more cash due to regulatory restrictions.

• But another day, another bailout. Lucky for Credit Suisse, the Swiss National Bank came to the rescue, agreeing late Wednesday to step in and lend Credit Suisse up to $54B USD to help shore up liquidity and bolster confidence.

• And the cash injection seemed to do the trick as Credit Suisse shares soared on Thursday on the Zürich Stock Exchange.

• Interestingly enough, according to Bloomberg reports, the Swiss National Bank had a loss of $143B in 2022 – the bank's biggest loss in its 116-year history.

• BTW, Credit Suisse is Switzerland's second-largest lender and the first major global bank to be given such a lifeline since the 2008 financial crash. It's also been the centre of many scandals over the last few decades...👇

⛔ After being shutdown earlier this week, Signature Bank is up for sale... but the auction has one major caveat: no crypto.

• On Sunday, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) took control of Signature Bank... just two days after the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank, and less than a week after the voluntary closure of Silvergate Bank.

• All three of the now-defunct banks were considered crypto-friendly institutions, with Signature Bank and Silvergate Bank being key financial partners for many crypto-focused companies. 

• And now Signature Bank is going to auction and sources say the FDIC is demanding that any prospective buyer will have to stop doing business with the crypto industry. Ouch.

• The FDIC wants bids submitted by Friday, and is reportedly only allowing bidders with an existing bank charter to take a peek at Signature Bank’s finance’s before submitting their offer. Kinda sketch, a move that's seen as favouring traditional lenders over private equity firms.

• And the people are talking: Barney Frank, an ex-congressman who helped pen the Dodd-Frank Act, thinks banking regulators shutdown Signature Bank to send "a very strong anti-crypto message."

• FYI the Dodd-Frank Act is a federal law enacted in response to the 2008 financial crisis to improve financial stability, protect consumers, and increase transparency and accountability in the financial sector. It's generally regarded as one of the most significant laws enacted during the Obama presidency.

• In response to the criticism, the the New York Department of Financial Services denied that crypto had anything to do with its decision to shutter Signature Bank, instead saying that it was due to a “crisis of confidence” in the bank’s leadership.

Headlines That Hit

• 🛟 Saved by the...banks? Wall Street slides to the rescue of First Republic Bank as 11 banks pledge $30B in deposits. Take a drink every time you read the word 'bank' in this newsletter.

• 🟰 Equal parenting FTW. Emmett Shear, the CEO of Amazon ’s livestreaming service Twitch, is stepping down from his role to spend more time at home with his newborn son.

• 🤖 Meet your new Copilot. Microsoft adds OpenAI technology to Word, PowerPoint and Excel.

Trending Tweets

Our fav funnies to get you through the day.

Congrats, you made it to the end!

That's all for today. Stay hungry & we'll catch you next time. ✌️

DISCLAIMER: This is not financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions.